Ok..now, I have to sort through my thoughts since Andi has been back. Before she got back, I missed her but I was really good and happy all of the last two weeks. I had a few of the best weekends ever, even the setbacks at work couldn’t get me down. And I got Andi’s postcard the day she was supposed to get back, and that the euphoric high. And since, my mood being going sorta downhill. It started with her call at midnight when I got to bed. Her phonecall that woke me up was fine..and then she told me that the first thing she did was run with the younger people at home and go across town and see her ex-boyfriend. And then, they hung out at a sports bar. And the time she got to call me was past midnight. She got back early enough to atleast have called me and told me that she was back in town. I was actually waiting for her to call. I realized that they had been back when I saw her mom login in to AIM. The mention of her ex-boyfriend set it off. I couldn’t really talk because I was on the verge of sleeping and my mind was mostly offline for the night, and I couldn’t concentrate on the conversation. So, next morning I emailed her and said hi properly this time. I got back from work early and called her because she told me that she was free during the day. Only to find out that she couldn’t talk to me because she was leaving to go and hang out with her ex-boyfriend. And then there was a party that she was going to with him. All the activities isn’t what is bothering me because if it had been anyone but Urs, I could care less. And then she hung out with him all evening from what I got out of the short conversation I had with her just now. He is over at her house now. Now, the thing that is bothering me is that I haven’t been able to talk to her properly since she has been back. and she is spending a LOT of time with Urs. I know he is there for a month but the gray area with ex-boyfriends is very thin. I trust her but when ever she tells me that she is with Urs, it makes my chest feel tight. I just wish she made time for me. I know I would have for her. If it came between talking to andi if at that point I hadn’t talked to her for a while, and hanging out with a friend, it would be a no brainer for me. I want her to hang out with her friends and have fun. But this now just doesnt feel right to me. She told me about her ex-boyfriend and related stuff especially about the breakup, and thats the reason my mind’s not at ease eventhough I trust Andi. Something to break trust can happen in a split second. I know that pretty well, so I try to stay away from such situations if possible or be careful otherwise. I am now worried about my stay there before I leave for Japan because Urs will be around for sure. And I know its going to be awkward with him with Andi around, although I am curious to meet him in person. I wonder how she would react if this was happening to her. I have noticed that Kristin and Matt chat or talk everyday even if it’s for 10 minutes. I called Andi and sounded pretty bad, and I felt crappy because of the way I sounded.

After work, I played racquetball with Jon. It was a good warmup for the rest of the time at the racquet center. I then ran briskly for 5 mins and sprinted about 280 metres in 40 seconds. I then walked the 280 metres and saw that I made it in 2 m 20 secs. I can normally do that running in 1 m 10 s. So I think I do a good pace. I then played with Amanda. She is a tennis player and her skills come into focus when playing RB. I have never seen a girl kill the ball the way she has. It’s been one of the most intense couple of games with a girl. I think if she keeps playing, she will be a very capable player. I did however win both the games because I serve hard and low and then haven’t been able to come up with a good counter yet. I hurried back because I had to shower because I met Jessi to go the movie. We met Jenna there and it was really good to see her. Kill Bill 2 wasn’t as gory as the first one. Jessi was very impressed with Uma Thurman and now is her role model. The three of us talked and then I saw Marty there. So, I talked to him for a while and then heard they were watching Fahrenheit 9/11. So, I went and bought a ticket for tomorrow. I think it will be a good movie/documentary. I wonder if it will make me as sad as Bowling for Columbine. I got back and went over to Jessi’s for a while. I then felt like talking to Andi so I left. I called Andi sometime back and her ex-boyfriend was over and they were hanging out. So, she says she’ll call me back at 11.30….

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole
relationship.”
Sharon Stone

“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”
George Burns

I made the 4.0 in the N2 environment glove box and it seemed like it made wonderful clear glass and lot of it. But then when we ran the DSC, it didn’t give us a Tg. So, it didnt make glass. Apparently the 4.0 wants to make crystal more than glass. I will be trying a 5.0 just to check but somehow I don’t think that will make glass. We also did a 2.0 and got a good density result. I am now in a work mode, because I stayed till 12.45 doing density instead of going to lunch at 12.

Jessi called and asked if I wanted to go see Kill Bill Vol.2 with her and Jenna. I want to see the movie so I think I am going with them. I haven’t seen Jenna in a while so I get to meet up with her.

I think I might apologize to Jessi for talking to Britta while I was at her place. The reason I talked to Britta then because she started watching a movie and I had seen it before… I wonder if that was rude or ok..After I was done talking, Jessi went to bed rather quickly. That is what prompted the thought last night.

Since I slept before midnight for the first time this summer, I got up at 7.30 effortlessly. After I got to work, I checked up on the solution that I had made before the softball game. It was still bubbling, so I had to wait for that to dry out. This is the last glass in the borate family to make because I don’t think even this composition can make glass. And compositions beyond R=3 was attacking the platinum crucible which was a bad thing. So, I switched to the carbon crucibles. We had chinese food for the wednesday luncheon which was great. But then food is good on wednesday anyway. Mario and Matt talked about their trip to China. It was a fun talk because they showed us a lot of pictures to places they had been and its history or significance. And after that Doc had a meeting where he wanted us to show the results we got so far. We are now almost done with the alkali borate family and are moving on to alkaline earth borates. He also gave us the friday before July 4th weekend off. So, I can leave early friday if I want to. I cleaned the crucible which had the green stains from reacting with the precipitate and found that it lost .08 g which is quite a lot actually.
I got back from work at 4.30 and tried calling Andi but she had to leave to hang out with her ex-boyfriend. I called Britta but couldn’t talk to her then because her mom was expecting a call. So, I napped for about 30 minutes before Jessi called me to tell me that she was on her way from work. I got ready and went down to Gage to meet her. We ran for 17 minutes again at the same quick pace and I was pretty tired at the end of the run. We lifted weights for a while and talked. I introduced her to Matt and Amanda after she reminded me too. That’s because we seem them exercising at the racquet center everyday and I talk to them and its the courteous thing to do. I got back and took a shower and ate. I watched X2 for a while before Jessi headed over to the Writing Center to work off her hours. I went down there and hung out with her to give her some company and I didn’t feel like being alone. So, we basically talked again.
I have realized that she is the only friend that I had since freshman year that I haven’t had any problems with. We have always been open and frank in our friendship. She asked me why marijauna was illegal while cigarettes and alchohol was legal. She gave me a convincing argument for the legalization of marijuana. I couldn’t think of anything to counter it. Although, she thinks marijuana could be made legal, she is personally against doing any form of drugs herself. She draws the lines at drugs at marijuana. Weed apparently is not habit forming, cigarettes are more habit forming and dangerous to health. Alcohol had the same numbing sensation as weed yet it’s legal. I want to talk to someone against the legalization of marijuana and hear their counter argument.
Britta called me while I was at the writing center and I called her back when I was at Jessi’s apartment later. I talked to her for half an hour because she had to get to bed early. She had to take her mom to Wichita for a doctor’s appointment. She is having fun there and it’s good to hear. I’ll call her sometime in the next few days again. I got back and went to talk to Matt and Andi called when I wasn’t in the room. When I got back I saw her missed call and message and called back. But I think I woke her mom up and felt bad about it. I left a message for her anyway. I watched the rest of X2 because I wasn’t sleepy at midnight.